How You Can Be Attractive

Well, you've looked over the last post and have seen three Attractive women. Not skinny, well made-up, well-dressed women. Three ATTRACTIVE women.

First let's talks for a moment about what Attractive means. For our purposes, I am going to use this definition straight from the dictionary:

• of or relating to attraction between physical objects

Not sexy, not irresistible, not even pretty. Attractive. Having other people attracted to you, wanting to be around you. These women are Attractive, as looking at them attracts.

First chance you get, I want you to go to W Mitchell's site (click here). When you pull up the site, you will see a man in a wheelchair with extensive burns on his face and hands.

Watch one of his videos for just a couple of minutes and you will feel his attraction.

Okay, okay, I'm there. Here is how YOU become attractive.

There is about 8 square inches on you that will make all the difference in the world. It starts with a smile and ends up in the eyes. When you look someone in the eyes with very real affection (even if you have never met them before) and allow that to become a REAL smile, you will get a positive response. They will become attracted to you and want to be around you.

Practice this. Here are a few things that I do. When I go into a bank I take my time going up to the teller. On my way I slow down and make sure I look at least one Banker sitting at their desk in the eye. I smile and say something nice - and MEAN IT. After a couple of times doing this, I notice that when I go into the bank the Bankers look up and try to be the first one to greet ME. They are attracted to me. And I feel Attractive.

I do this in stores, in the supermarket, even on the street. I tell perfect strangers (mostly women) that I really like their top/shoes/purse. But only when I mean it. Then I make sure they see I mean it. It makes them feel attractive and attracts them to me. Again, I feel Attractive.

So many women have spent some amount of time in their lives picking the wrong man or sequence of men because they believe that the more men that want them the more Attractive they must be. It's time to realize that this is just sex. There has to be some sort of attraction to propagate the species. A true feeling of Attraction comes from either sex at any age and lasts.

I look in the mirror and I see my age and experience. I feel okay with what I see, but just okay.

I look in other people's eyes when I acknowledge that they are Worthwhile and I feel Attractive.

It doesn't matter what you are wearing, what your weight is, how much make-up you have on. I have a few friends who are sight impaired. So it doesn't always mean looking someone in the eye. Simply helping someone else feel Smart, Worthwhile or Attractive and they WILL become attracted to you.

This is one post I would love to hear your responses to - after you have tried this. I want people to share ways they have become attractive.

Meanwhile, remember:

You ARE a SWAN

How to be Attractive

This week we're going to talk about Attractive. Are you Attractive? The only way to know is - Do you feel Attractive? When you feel Attractive, you are Attractive.

Alright, is it now time for tips on make-up? Hair? Weight loss? Clothing?

In this posting, I will show you exactly why these are NOT what we are going to talk about.

Look at this picture:

You may recognize Queen Latifah. A very Attractive woman. And most definitely not a size 3. Nor does she want to be. Nor does she need to be. So, obviously weight, or the lack thereof, is not what makes you Attractive.

Now look at this woman:

No make-up. Hair simply flowing. Yet very Attractive.

One more:

I'm pretty sure she didn't buy this outfit on Rodeo Drive.

Yet Attractive, right?

Now you have an assignment. Before I post next week, look at these pictures and find the common denominator that makes them all Attractive. And, guess what? If you say "self confidence" I would say "NOPE" try again.

Meanwhile remember,

You are a SWAN!

How to be Worthwhile

Last week we talked a little bit about becoming Worthwhile. To repeat myself one more time:

Worthwhile ALWAYS includes someone else.

The dictionary defines Worthwhile: "Of value or importance."

You certainly can say "I have money and a nice house. These have value and are important to me. Doesn't that make me Worthwhile?"

Actually it makes the money and house Worthwhile. You are still simply you. If you think that having a lot of things makes you Worthwhile, stop reading here. You are already right where you want to be.

For the rest of us, let's get past things and onto people.

This week is just a list. Find something on here that you can do do make a difference in someone else's life. Or use this list to give you your own ideas. I certainly don't have all of the ideas cornered:

• When you go shopping, buy a couple of extra cans/boxes of food and drop them into the barrel in the front of the store for the homeless (inexpensive and so necessary)
• Visit an Assisted Living center and ask a resident to tell you stories from the past (they were not dropped there to die, they need stimulation and love to share)
• Compliment a stranger in a store on her blouse/smile/glasses/... (much like the hug in my last posting, you don't know how deeply you can affect someone simply with acknowledgment)
• Change a child's life. This can be done simply by reading a story to a related child, letting them know someone cars. Or you can put time and effort into becoming a Mentor, helping one more child become someone special
• Volunteer. Anywhere. Find your Smart and share it with others. Help someone else become special by sharing what you know and what you can do

Well, here were some thoughts on Worthwhile. Go forth and make a difference, because

You ARE a S.W.A.N!

Next week we will start with How to Be Attractive.

Become Worthwhile

From the last post, you know WHY to become Worthwhile, now let's talk about the HOW to become Worthwhile.

First, do you know the difference between Simple and Easy?

Parachuting out of an airplane is simple. Jump. Pull cord.

But for the majority of you it certainly would not be easy.

Being Worthwhile is simple. Ready? Here goes:

Worthwhile ALWAYS includes someone else.

Let me repeat that.

Worthwhile ALWAYS includes someone else.

To be able to wake up in the morning, look in the mirror and smile, knowing you've made a difference for someone else, DO SOMETHING for someone else.

There are so many ways to do this that I will be devoting my next posting to that. But first I want to tell you a story of something that happened to me. This makes my life Worthwhile.

I do seminars. During one seminar Ed walked in off the street. He works rebuilding vintage homes, so he looked like he worked rebuilding vintage homes. He was going by, it was raining outside, so he decided to come see what this was all about (truthfully I don't remember fully, it was a seminar to help beginning Speakers).

As Ed was leaving, he came to shake my hand. I shook my head and stated "Handshakes are for the way in. Hugs are for the way out." Then I proceeded to hug him and send him on his way.

The next time we gathered, Ed showed up with 2 roses from his garden and tears in his eyes. He had been in a very bad place at the last meeting. Feeling included and cared about changed him.

He has now joined Toastmasters to learn to be a Speaker and is writing his first book. We run across each other on occasion, but never without a large hug.

Whenever I feel unworthy, I think of Ed.

On the next posting, I will give you ways to become Worthwhile, even if you don't hug.

You ARE a S.W.A.N!

Time to become Worthwhile

If you have figured me out by now, you will be ready to say "I know, I know, I AM Worthwhile."

Don't jump ahead, because you may not be Worthwhile yet. A tough pill to swallow, but not to worry. By the time you are finished reading the next two postings you WILL be. Yep, you may have to get through a couple of postings, because being "Worthwhile" is "Worth" it.

We're going to concentrate this time on WHY you should be Worthwhile.

Have you ever seen the look of pure joy on someone's face and wondered how you could feel that way? You may have tried many different ways to get there.

Let yourself know if you've tried any of these:

Sex

Alcohol

Prayer

Meditation

Dangerous Stunts

Having lots of babies

________________(fill in your own blank)

There are so many ways to find temporary joy, both good and bad. You noticed that I put in a couple that may have shocked you (prayer, meditation and babies). These should give you permanent joy, right?

Prayer and meditation connect you with something greater than yourself, which is great. However, as we all know, we have to come back to real life. And babies grow up into their own person-hood and take on their own lives, leaving us to continue searching. As for the others, we know they are temporary, but sometimes that's good enough for now.

So the best way to have ongoing joy and happiness is to know in your heart that you are Worthwhile. There is a reason for you to be on this earth and in the lives of the people in your world. When you wake up, you feel like going out because you KNOW that you will make a difference.

I'm leaving it here for now because I want you to let this sink in. I want you to want to come back and say "I want that!" Because you ARE a SWAN.

What to do with Smart

Last time, we talked about being Smart. If you missed it, go back to the last post and read it. Then take some time and decide just what type of Smart you are.

Yes, you are already Smart. I know that, possibly without ever meeting you. I know that I have never met anyone who is not Smart in one way or another. Again, find YOUR Smart in the last post.

Now that we've established that you are Smart, what do you do with it to cement the knowledge in your heart? I'm glad you asked.

First off, take a class. Don't jump ahead, I'm not going to tell you to try something new. If you find that your Smart lies in understanding people, you may not want to take an Accounting class.

It would frustrate you and make you feel dumb again. We're getting away from that, remember?

If your Smart is people Smart, take a Psychology class. Or a class on How to Be a Life Coach. You can find inexpensive classes at local Junior Colleges, and/or Adult Learning Centers.

Likewise, if you find that you really are numbers Smart, go to that Bookkeeping class, or take a class in Starting a Business.

You will be amazed at how well you do in a class once it is geared towards your natural Smart.

Then, do something with what you've learned. If you are making a living trying to be Smart in the wrong classification for you, you won't be nearly as happy as when you find out what you can do, realize just how good you can be at it, the do it for a living.

Now, go forth and be Smart. You can do it, because you are already Smart.

Go prove it to yourself first, then all of those around you!

This week - How to be Smart

You may not know this, but you are already SMART.

Yep, you are smart.

If you always got A's in school, and you have an IQ that the Mensa Society is rushing to include in their group, you may already know this.

If not, however, you may wonder how I know you are smart. Because Howard Gardner said so.

Howard Gardner came up with 7 types of intelligence. Yep, there is actually more than one way to be smart. Go through the following and see what jumps right out at you and says "Wow, that's me!"

Howard Gardner’s Categories of Intelligence:

Interpersonal

Empathy and understanding for others

Verbal-linguistic

Lkes to read and/or can pick up languages easily

Logical-Mathematical

Likes to use reason and logic. Often likes numbers

Intrapersonal

Intuitive/Introspective. Good at understanding their own feelings

Visual-spatial

Good at puzzles and eye-hand coordination. Also good at math

Musical

Good at singing and/or playing instruments. Like to learn by putting lessons to rhythm or music

Natutaralistic

Likes to interact with animals and/or gardening. Understands and appreciates our place in nature

Did you even find that you fit into more than one category? See how smart you really are?

We'll look closer at these next week. Meanwhile, never forget - You ARE a SWAN